Copenhagen was a bust.
Okay, so I try to ignore the news. Rather, I try not to pay attention to what I can’t do much about to change. I like to act locally and think globally. But some things I can’t really ignore. Like the current state of our world and the impending doom of the human race. It bothers me. There’s a plaque at the Natural History Museum in New York City on the ground right before the room with the giant big blue whale. It has a list of the different extinction periods and their probable cause. It reads that we are currently in the middle of the 6th mass extinction that our planet has seen – all caused by humans. It’s because of the world myth we believe: Man rules the Earth. That this beautiful planet is being turned into a cesspool.
I am in the middle of reading Ishmael by Daniel Quinn. So far, it’s been a really good book. It’s laying out the facts as things are which people are in denial of hearing. Like last night, I read about how increase in food supply leads to increase in population. I know this isn’t a huge revelation – but we keep sending food aid to countries. By sending food aid, they reproduce, and create more mouths to feed. The end result is a never ending cycle of producing more food, to feed the new hungry mouths, while there’s an increase destruction of our planet. The end result if things keep going this way is that we’ll destroy ourselves. We’ll homogenize the planet to only be human food and what feeds it and the diversity of life will be eliminated but we’ll never keep up with the demands. I don’t know what to do about this. False aid to create more hungry and poverty is not the way to go. We should focus on sending birth control and work on population control to keep the cycle from repeating.
Another human myth is that humans are except from the forces of nature. We too, are vulnerable to famine, which it’s a fake famine to begin with because we produce enough food for everyone to eat. It is all economics. We need to dismantle the whole oppressive system we have in place in order to feed the people of the world. It should be about people, not cash. We need to revamp our entire economy so it won’t crash if we give people bread. We should feed the people we have and let food be a right – not a privilege and focus on population control. We can put an end to this with birth control and reforming our economy.
Right now, with the way we are heading and how many species are becoming extinct – we are heading for our own extinction because we are defying a fundamental laws of nature – who humans like to believe doesn’t apply to them but it does. The laws are: The world was not made for any one species. The world needs competition and diversity to survive. It was not meant to be homogenized. Take what you need but leave the rest for the other species. Man has decided that everything is his and when we act like lord and master of the planet – look at the destruction it caused. We need to change how we relate to the world in order for our own survival.
Butch seeks Butch: Why is it so Taboo? (Repost from Deleted Blog)
I was googling butch seeks butch and boi seeks boi out of curiosity and there wasn’t much to be found. Sometimes I feel like the only genderqueer butch boi who wants another butch. I mean there is plenty of butch seeks femme but just none for the bois. I feel like I have a nonexistent dating pool. I’ve been single for 26 years and I’ll probably be single for life. I would like a girlfriend that I am attracted to both physically and mentally but finding someone like that is really problematic. First off, there’s not that many lesbians to begin with. I don’t know why there are so many gay males maybe because we live in a patriarchal society and it promotes men so it makes sense for men to love men. It goes against everything that society tries to condition us to be a women who loves women. But there aren’t that many lesbians and most lesbians tend to go femme. I have nothing against femme – I know all about femme visibility and I am an ally to the cause but it’s harder being out all the time and visible queer. I’ve been punched in the face before for being gay which sucked more than anything. In NYC of all places in 2009 – how ridiculous is that? I thought the world would be beyond such nonsense. Anyways, finding smart people is hard. We all know that. The world is full of dummies. And if you are already dealing with a small dating pool to begin with – it becomes even smaller looking for someone smart. Plus, add looking for someone vegetarian and a boi – that’s near impossible.
Anyways, I don’t know why Butch seeks Butch is so taboo. For gay men, since there are plenty of them, there’s a whole bear community for masculine men who like other masculine men. They even have their own flag for their community. There’s nothing like that for the lesbian counterpart. It might just be there’s not enough of us but why is it okay for men and not for women? Double standards again? I remember being sad when reading Stone Butch Blues when they specifically said in the book butch on butch is taboo. It’s the mentality now. I get such a hard time when I hit on other butches. I get treated like an alien and ignored. It happens all the time when the rare occasion I find a butch. It’s a real blow to one’s self confidence to be treated so poorly. It should be taken as a compliment being hit on – by anyone. It’s nice to know you are attractive. If you don’t like the person who’s hitting on you, don’t be mean to them. Say “Thank you, not interested.â€Â Then again, I learn that if they are a jerk to me, they weren’t worth my original attempt and are just a pretty face with an ugly inside.
I am a sweet kid who looks like a bad ass and I get lots of shit for that because everyone thinks a million and one things about me that aren’t true. It’s also hard being genderqueer. At least with being ftm or mtf – you have a gender identity – you might be the wrong gender but there’s a gender for you. For me, there is no gender. I am just genderfucked. Not male and not female and just stuck being something I am not without any options. I feel so out of place in a world with males and females and not much room for a this or that.
Essay: Genderqueer
Are you a boy or a girl?†A perplexed waitress at a Dunkin’ Donut in the heart of New York City asked of me when I entered the shop. “I just wanted a muffin; I don’t think my gender matters.â€Â I said but she didn’t seem to understand, she was rather too interested on what was in my pants. “Are you a boy or a girl?â€Â I sighed. I don’t identify as either being genderqueer but I don’t like having to explain myself all the time to everyone. Mostly because people can only wrap their head around the gender binary and not think outside the box. It got me thinking though, why do perfect strangers care too much about what’s in my pants? It doesn’t matter to anyone unless they wanted to sleep with me. But, for some reasons, this lady’s whole identity was formed around a world of boys and girls. I bite the bullet since I really wanted my muffin, “I’m a girl.â€Â She let out a relieved sigh and then got my muffin. Again, I was forced into the oppressive gender binary to comply with the needs of an oppressive society. It isn’t just the males that oppress; it is also other women who’ve been conditioned to think as such.
In an ideal society, I would have been able to get my muffin without being hassled about what’s in my pants. However, this is America – home of the free if you are rich and fix into neat boxes. Most people can’t wrap their head around genderqueer – which is outside of the gender binary. I am something else – not just another gender but I am beyond gender. People can at least understand transsexual, but when it comes to genderqueer, people just don’t get it. They want to box you in. I am sometimes envious of my transsexual allies because they have a gender identity to claim – even if they are handicapped by being born into the wrong body. I, however, have no place to go. No identity. I suck it up and usually go with lesbian because I am female bodied and like women but that doesn’t describe me. I’m queer but queer is considered to be such a dirty word by polite society.
The LGlittleBinvisibleT community has no love for anyone who’s not a Stepford Gay. If you don’t fit the mold of what a “safe†gay is – being gay but assimilating, the community turns their back on you. It is a threat to society, the mainstream, the social constructed order, to be an individual and think for yourself. We live in a society based on group think with team sports, entertainment and job rhetoric paving the way for the classless individual who functions as a cog in the well oiled machine of greed and anonymity. I – for one, am not going to be part of any machine. I’m not going to wear the clothes they tell me to wear, I’m not going to watch their programming (it’s called programming for a reason), and not going to take part in their world of a giant rat race.
I am going to fight the system with knowledge and education, compassion and understanding.  As Crass said, “You can’t change the system by bombing number ten, the people will go into hiding but they’ll be back again.â€Â The only way to change the system is to change the people. The only way to change the people is with education.
Sometimes, it’s really hard, trying to change things. I struggle with trying to get people to understand what “genderqueer†means. Sometimes, it’s dangerous just being who you are. Every third day, a transperson is murdered. I’ve been assaulted before at a punk show which was supposed to be about peace and equality for being a “homosexual. “ I just want a world where I can go to punk shows without getting punched and get a muffin without being hassled about what’s in my pants. I can’t do it alone. Will you help me?
