Today's Lesson: People don't change.
I am rather optimistic. I like to believe in the best of people. Sometimes I’m proven wrong.
I had tried to befriend a person and they just played games with me. I don’t know why. I was always forthright with my intentions but they made a mockery of me. I thought they were a person who got it. Who stood for peace and equality not cruelty. They turned out to be one of the biggest jerks I knew by doing things to laugh at me – not with me.
Bounce ahead, four or so years. I still wanted to believe the best of this person. I thought their duplicity was a result of peer pressure so maybe outside of that setting they’ll be a decent person. I don’t like to make a villain out of anyone and I try to see the best. I don’t like having negativity associated with people so I wanted to see if they had change in the past four years. My findings were conclusive that they haven’t. It’s the same old song and dance.
When I told my doctor that I thought this person would change, she laughed at me. I know I’m a completely different person than I was four years ago because I am always working on improving myself. I want to be the best I can be. Apparently, most humans don’t operate that way. They don’t change unless they have a reason to change – and even then sometimes they don’t. Most cases they get worse. I don’t get it.
I am always reading and educating myself. I try to talk to as many people as I can about anything and everything. I have a genuine desire to help the world. I have learned you can’t help the world until you help yourself first. It was a hard lesson for me because I always want to put everyone and everything else first but sometimes you got to make sure you are okay before you can make sure other people are okay. Even on airplanes, they tell you to put your air mask on first before helping others. There’s a method to this madness.
I am disappointed that there are jerks in the world. I always thought life was about living – I mean really living and not letting hatred or pettiness cloud your vision. I would like to think of the world as a big human community – like how we come together for things like Haiti. Why do we only come together in times of disaster? I think the world would be amazing if we kept the community spirit all the time.
This person is beyond my comprehension. I used to try to understand other’s perspective and points of view until I met them. I realize I can have no idea what goes on in another person’s head. It really isn’t my concern either. One of the hardest things I have is finding people who want friendship and connection. Just finding anyone who’s willing to accept love and kindness is really hard. Obviously, this person doesn’t. Not from me anyways.
It’s a hard thing for me to accept that I can’t befriend the entire world. I wish I could. It upsets me that there are people who hate me without even knowing me. That there is even hate at all. But that’s reality.
Antisemitism, White Privilege, and Racism
I was talking to my dad yesterday and he had the ignorance to say “Racism doesn’t exist anymore. We have a black president.” Then he adds, “Racism exists like antisemitism exists, it’s always going to be there but for the most part gone.” I just got really upset and mostly was speechless. I was appalled by how ignorant he was. He’s reading a book, Feminism Is For Everyone by Bell Hooks. He was unwilling to accept that fact that in the 1970’s, Hook’s felt discriminated based on gender. My dad claims he was going to school around the same time and he doesn’t remember women being discriminated against. He says it was the height of the sexual revolution. My personal assessment is that he, like most males, are oblivious to their male privilege and when anyone who’s oppressed speaks out about it, it doesn’t fit into their reality.
Racism and antisemitism are two different things. Most people forget that because Hilter went after the Jewish people as a race – but it really is just a religion. I get really annoyed when people are like “I’m a quarter Jewish” to me, that just shows lots of ignorance. In Judaism, you get your “jewishness” from your Mother. So, it’s either you are Jewish if your mother is Jewish or you aren’t. There’s no half or quarter or anything like that. You can consider yourself to be culturally Jewish or culturally half Jewish but there is a difference than being Jewish. That being said, being Jewish is something one can hide for the most part unlike race which is apparent. Racism is discrimination based on the color of your skin.
My dad claims he was beat up in school for being Jewish. I also know that my dad was a bully. He shoved a kid in a locker with his football buddies. He did all sorts of mean things so I really don’t know if they started picking on him for him being Jewish first or if it was something to add fuel to the flame because he upset them by being a real jerk. Not to say that it was right to pick on him for his religion, but if you upset people they’ll find something about you not to like.
My personal experience as being the only Jewish kid at my school, no one picked on me about that. I also grew up and a very conservative Christian area. Then again, I wasn’t a bully.
With that being said, I think my dad is very ignorant about racism in America in this day and age. He hasn’t been to the black ghettos on the outskirts of New York City. He hasn’t had Asian Pacific Islanders refuse to date him because he’s white. Nor has he gone to be an ally to people of color to only have them accuse white women of being racists for voting for Hilary instead of Obama in the primaries. He hasn’t been to a queer scene so divided between race and class that whites go to one party and people of color go to another. I have.
I don’t know how to explain what I’ve seen and experienced with my own eyes to him because anything I’d say he can deny. The talk would end with me getting really upset at his stupidity and him remaining blissfully ignorant being unwilling to accept another’s reality. He’s unwilling to admit his male privileges so why would he be anymore willing to admit his white privileges?
There’s an article written by Peggy McIntosh called White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack. I highly suggest everyone go read it. Some of the privileges that McIntosh points out that she has based on simply by being white are:
– I can, if I wish, arrange to be in the company of people of my race most of the time.
– I can turn on the television or open to the front page of the paper and see people of my race widely represented.
– When I am told about our national heritage or about “civilization”, I am shown that people of my color made it what it is.
– I can go into a music shop and count on finding the music of my race represented, into a supermarket and find the staple foods which fit with my cultural traditions, into a hairdresser’s shop and find someone who will cut my hair.
– I am never asked to speak for all the people of my racial group.
– I can easily buy posters, postcards, picture books, greeting cards, dolls, toys, and children’s magazines featuring people of my race.
– If my day, week, or year is going badly, I need not ask of each negative episode or situation whether it has racial overtones.
I remember having a talk with people of color about what their reality is like. The worse thing you can do when someone is telling you an experience of theirs is to deny it. I mean, it’s really unfair that people have issues with me simply because of my skin color but people have issues with them because of theirs. Even today, my friend pointed out to me racism on Google. If you type, “I’m terrified” in the search box – the auto-complete shows up, “I’m terrified of chinese people.” It makes me sick.
What can you do? Educate yourself and be aware of the privileges you might have. There’s plenty of books about privileges and racism.
I think for the next book I give my dad to read it will be about racism. Anyone have any suggestions?
What do you think about the Uganda Anti-Homosexuality Bill?
The Uganda Anti-Homosexuality Bill would be a violation of humans rights. The spirit of the bill is undemocratic and would be a blow to the progress of democracy in Uganda. It also isn’t a bill just against homosexuals – it’s a bill against everyone. A new draft bill includes a provision that could lead to the imprisonment for up to three years of anyone, including heterosexual people, who fails to report within 24 hours the identities of everyone they know who is lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender, or who supports human rights for people who are.
The existing law, Section 140 of the Ugandan penal code, penalizes “carnal knowledge of any person against the order of nature” with imprisonment of up to 14 years. This legacy of British colonialism was introduced to punish local practices of what the colonial powers deemed to be “unnatural sex.” The laws stand as proof that same-sex sexual practices and gender diversity are, and always have been, part of Ugandan culture. The draft bill tabled today seeks to imprison anyone convicted of “the offense of homosexuality” for life.
Paragraph 3 of the draft bill sets out provisions on what it names as “aggravated homosexuality,” which will incur the death penalty, contradicting the global trend toward a moratorium on the use of the death penalty.
The final section of the bill provides for Uganda to nullify any of its international or regional commitments that it deems “contradictory to the spirit and provisions enshrined in this Act.” As both the African Commission and the UN Human Rights Committee have held, a state cannot, through its domestic law, negate its international human rights obligations.
Over recent months, there has been increased campaigning against homosexuality in Uganda, led by churches and anti-gay groups. The media have joined this campaign, and have publicly pointed to individuals they accuse of being gay or lesbian.
People suspected of being gay have faced death threats and been physically assaulted. Many have been ostracized by their families or faced discrimination, including dismissal from their place of employment.
“This inflammatory bill will be taken as further confirmation that it is OK to attack or even kill people perceived to be lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender,” said Victor Mukasa, of the International Gay and Lesbian Human Rights Commission. “It is the government’s responsibility to immediately withdraw this dangerous proposal.”
It is a dangerous proposal for everyone. It will affect the lives of everyone of every sexuality because anyone can be accused. It’s like a war on human nature – it’s perfectly natural to be homosexual. They might as well outlaw breathing. I am appalled that in 2010 – this is even an issue.
What can you do to help? You can take action by going to the Amnesty International web page and send a email to your representatives to stop this violation of human rights.
Punk 101: Studs and Spikes
Where would punk rockers be without studs and spikes? I recommend only using studs because it’s not mosh pit friendly having spikes. You can really hurt someone with spikes. I never wear spikes – because I don’t trust myself not to stab myself with them.
Studs and spikes are the perfect accessory to any punk look. They are intimidating and shiny. The best website to get studs and spikes from is http://studsandspikes.com/.
Denim is pretty easy to stud. You just take the stud, push it through the fabric, and use a spoon or pliers to bend the ends secure. Studding leather is a little bit more involved. First, you need to put the stud on the leather and let the prongs leave a mark. Then, where the mark is left from the prongs, take a dart and make holes in the leather. Then put the prongs through the hole and use a spoon or pliers to secure the stud in place. For a video tutorial go here.
It takes a lot of time to stud things so be patient. I usually prefer studs with some space between them because solid studding gets really heavy. I have a vest that’s very well studded and it weights 8 pounds. My favorite studded vest has about 100 studs on the back – it looks awesome without being too heavy. Sometimes less is more – remember that. Good luck! Happy studding!
On Passing and Out of the Closet (Mental Health)
Passing means that a person is able to present themselves in such a matter that they are read and perceived as something they are not but can “pass” as being it. For example, passing in reference to gender identity refers to a person’s ability to be accepted or regarded as a member of the sex or gender with which they identify, or with which they physically present. I never try to pass as anything – or rather, I thought I didn’t until it was brought to my attention yesterday.
I went to the doctor with my dad for a casual check-up. I was just being myself and I thought nothing of it. I left when it came time for my dad’s check up because his was a little more involved than mine. I ran across the street to the independent music store and picked up a compact disc by the band Pretty Girl Makes Graves entitled The New Romance. (I am listening to it right now and it’s awesome.) When I met up with my dad again, he told me the doctor gave me a compliment. My dad told me that if my doctor didn’t know my medical history – he would have never been able to tell there’s anything wrong with me.
I wasn’t too sure if that was really a compliment. It got me thinking about passing as being a normal member of society. I’ve been thinking about coming out of the closet on this issue for a few days – ever since I read A note about suicide (not a suicide note). I think it’s important that people talk about these things.
For some reason, it’s okay to talk about a broken arm but it’s not okay to talk about mental health. I think by keeping these issues in the closet does more harm than good because people feel they can’t talk about what is affecting them. I am usually pretty outspoken about mental health. I don’t view it as something shameful but other people just don’t get it. I don’t view having a mental health issue to be any different than having diabetes. It’s a chemical imbalance that the body makes and luckily can be treated with medicine. Some people don’t share my point of view and I have lost lots of friends over the fact I have chemical imbalance I can’t control.
I have schizoaffective disorder. The schizo-part is mostly kept in check with medication. Without my medicine, I would have hallucinations. It’s like a bad acid trip – what people take drugs to do, my brain does naturally. But, as I said, it’s kept in check with medicine. My affective part is depression. I have medicine for that too but some days are better than others. Sometimes my depression gets so bad that I just go to bed for a week because I can’t deal with facing the world. I just get so overwhelmed by everything that goes on and I just can’t handle it. On those bad days the most I can do is get up, shower, and eat. I usually have a big depression once every four to six months.
It’s not the type of thing I can just “snap out of.” My chemicals are imbalance and it takes time for them to get back into balance. Sometimes that may require a medicine change if the medicine isn’t working right which is a few week process that is hard on me because I am usually really sad the entire time. When I have good days, I usually don’t remember what it’s like to be depressed. When I get really depressed, I don’t remember what it’s like to have good days. It feels like I have a rain cloud permanently affixed over my head, like there’s no point to anything and no point to living at all. I feel like why should I bother fighting so much when it doesn’t really make a difference anyways since nothing matters. I feel all alone and just really hopeless.
I’d imagine it isn’t easy on my friends or family. I’ve lost lots of friends over periods of despair because they don’t understand my illness. My life isn’t that bad or hard because my dad works really hard to help take care of me so I can have the freedom to do what I want. I am really lucky but when I am depressed – none of that matters. I mean, I constantly tell my dad he makes it so my life doesn’t suck that much. Without his help and support, I would be on disability because of my illness I can’t work an 8-hour day five days a week. I’d get too exhausted and start hearing voices.
I hear voices when I get tired or sometimes when things are going really good. It’s hard to explain – it’s just a voice in my head saying all sorts of mean, horrible things. Sometimes when I hear voices they tell me that the person I am talking to head is exploding, so inside my mind I have exploding heads, and it’s really distracting. Other times they tell me that people are plotting to kill me or kidnap me to make me really paranoid. Sometimes my leather boots become mooing zombie cows. Sometimes they tell me that I am a horrible person and unworthy of everything I have. The medicine doesn’t seem to help with them and the only cure is to go to sleep for them to go away.
The voices seem to happen a couple of times a month. It’s a real bummer when I have plans to do things and all of the sudden the voices start so I need to go to sleep. Usually, to try to avoid hearing voices, I take naps during the day.
All this someone wouldn’t be able to tell from interacting with me. Even the doctor couldn’t tell but he knew.
I never really thought about how I “pass” every day of my life as being something that I’m not. It shouldn’t make a difference how people treat me but it does. Most people think having a mental illness makes you incapable of comprehension. That they have to treat you “special”. That is not always the case. I am highly intelligent and my dad has told me I am one of the smartest people he knows. I just have a chemical imbalance. It is no more my fault than having a cold. Don’t talk down to me because of it or treat me differently. Don’t be frighten of me because you don’t understand or stop being my friend because you asked how I was on a bad day. Show me compassion and kindness. I will do the same.
On Revenge
I was talking to my friend the other day about revenge. Rather, she was working on a song for her band about it. The lyrics she shared with me went, “It’s not revenge, it’s justice!” The author of said lyrics and I have totally different views.
I don’t believe in revenge. I think it’s really childish – almost as childish as doing something that would warrant someone wanting to take revenge. Not to say I haven’t been hurt before, wronged, or given hell. I have. I’ve had peers mistreat me, tons of teachers, and even people that I have trusted as friends. I don’t walk around with a block on my shoulder because of it. Even when I was assaulted – my main concern wasn’t about “getting back” at my attacker – it was more wanting him to get help because something wasn’t right in his head that he would assault someone. I tend to operate out of general compassion for all beings.
Over the years, I have come to learn that usually I am not the problem. Rather, other people’s insecurities, jealousies, or short comings make them do mean and nasty things. It usually has nothing to do with me other then the fact I am at the wrong place at the wrong time. People’s ignorance is also a cause.
When I was in elementary school, I was so shy. I didn’t really know how to make friends. Sometimes I still don’t. I was such a mess from coming from a broken home that I didn’t feel I was worthy of human companionship. Some of the girls in the class took to not liking me because I was different. They would whisper behind my back and quickly dispersed when I approached. I never did anything to anyone but there was a wall there that even if I wanted to be their friends – they wouldn’t let me. There was an incident where the whole class was invited to a Halloween party except for me. I was the smartest person in the class – but someone else got the title as brain – as my peers didn’t want to include me. It was weird, it was like being invisible.
Sometimes I would wish I could change places with one of the other girl’s in my class. Not for long, but for a day so maybe they could see what my life was like. Their lives looked like rainbows and kittens to the invisibility I was facing at school to being verbally abused at home.
I never wanted revenge though. All I ever wanted was to show others what it was like. Maybe it is rather idealistic to think that if people saw the whole picture – they’d realized that we’re all human and get along.
For me, the best revenge I can ever get against someone who’s wrong me is living a happy and healthy life. I am awesome and I only had to put up with the hostile treatment for a time. They have to live with themselves for the rest of their life. That in itself is a far worse punishment than anything I could ever do.
Queercore 101: Make Use of Your Ears
My friend requested I write something like a Queercore 101. Queercore is queer punk music. It was a movement credited to being started by Bruce La Bruce and G.B. Jones with their zine called, “J.D’s.” They wrote about how they had an awesome queer punk scene in Toronto to amuse themselves because there really wasn’t any other queer punks except for them and a few friends. However, the movement took off and boom. In the 90’s there was queercore everywhere! Queercore is about being against assimilation and heteronormalitivity. It’s about being gay, I mean really gay. Some of the music is still in print while some of it is really hard to find.
I found a site last night where to download some out of print, hard to find queercore so it isn’t lost to time. Some queercore stuff has been lost to time like the animated Green Pubes by Anonymous Boy. The website for rare, out of print downloads is: http://soulponies.com/. It’s an amazing reference to get your feet wet with queercore. Such classics on the site are Youth of Togay, Gayrilla Biscuits, Mukilteo Faeries, and Fifth Column. As well as some riot grrrl; Bikini Kill and Huggy Bear. I also found a link where you can download the Go Team! here.
On Duplicity
I had a request to write an entry about duplicity. I had a long talk with a friend about it the other day. First, let’s define duplicity as being deceitfulness. I tend to face a lot of duplicity from 1’s, 2’s, and 3’s. It is really frustrating because sorting the lies from what little truths there are becomes lots of work.
I think sometimes people are deceitful unintentional and out of their own ignorance. People lie to you because they’ve been lied to themselves. They don’t know they are progressing a lie because to them it is the truth. Such examples of this is religion and factory farms. With religion, the main idea is a good thought that is to love one another and get along. However, with so much dogma the original message is distorted. Hate and bigotry is the result. People not following what they should preach. With factory farms, people like to believe their meat comes from happy farms when the reality is quite different. They might tell their children the animals have a good life because they believe that the animals do. They aren’t out to hurt anyone with their lies because to them it is the truth.
Other times, people are deceitful for personal gain. They present an image or a front that’s not true to be perceived a certain way to gain certain privileges. It could be for a job or personal reasons. For example, a homosexual might stay in the closet due to not wanting to lose their heteronormaltive status. They might date the opposite sex even marry someone to keep up appearances. The problem with that is that everything you do becomes acting and based off lies. Once you start with one lies, to keep it going, there’s other lies. Before you know it, you are living a lie. You lose sense of self for what seems like a big gain to the person involved. These people are deceitful because they can not even be honest with themselves.
Sometimes people are deceitful due to peer pressure. Someone might be a nice person on their own, but with friends around they act like a jerk. It’s what expected of them to be “cool” and “fit in.” They play the role of the bully, to the detriment of themselves and those involved.
I’ve only been guilty of being deceitful out of ignorance. I think I gave someone wrong directions in New York City a few weeks ago because I didn’t know which way the street they were looking for was – I did add an “I think” due to not being sure but they followed my guidance. I hope they didn’t get lost.
When I was in six grade, I somehow fell into the popular crowd. I don’t really remember how but they liked me. These girls were so much drama. It was ridiculous. They would backstab each other all the time, gossip, and do all sorts of horrible things that I never took part in. I didn’t want to ditch them because I didn’t want to be alone and not have friends. I was unhappy with the situation. For me, the breaking point was when they tried to make fun of a nerd for brushing their teeth in the bathroom after lunch because they had braces. It was one thing when they would pick on each other – because they were friends (I guess), it was another thing to harass a stranger for being different. I stood up to the group and told them it wasn’t cool to pick on people and to stop. Shortly after that, I got tired of their games and stopped hanging out with them. I went and hung out with the nerds because they were nice people.
I think in order for people to stop being deceitful to themselves and others it takes education and strength to be yourself. Act up and do what’s right even if it is the hardest thing to do. That’s how I try to live my life. If I mess up, I try to make amends if I can. Being a master of yourself isn’t about being perfect – it’s about accepting your imperfections and being willing to change to fix mistakes. It’s about not being afraid to say I was wrong or I’m sorry.
A Personal Ad
So, I’ve been single my entire life, 26 years and counting. I haven’t meet anyone worth my time. I’ve been out and queer for about four years now. I’ve been looking everywhere for someone to date to no avail. I figured, if I haven’t met someone in a quarter of a century – I am probably never going to meet anyone.
I’ve tried everything: internet dating, speed dating, going to bars/clubs, joining clubs, starting clubs, going to shows, and putting on shows. I don’t know, it just seems like the people I want to meet don’t exist anywhere. There is only a handful of queer punks to begin with and to find one that’s straightedge, vegan, and monogamous is never going to happen.
Everyone keeps on feeding me the same lines, “It’d happen when you least expect it.” “It’d happened when you stop looking for it.” But it’s just not. I feel like I am missing out on part of the human experience of having a connection with someone. I want a partner in life but I feel like I’ll never have one. I am one of the sweetest people around – not nice out of weakness – nice because I know better. I would go anywhere in the world to have a community but there doesn’t seem to be people to build that community with. I don’t know how to put myself out there more than I already have.
I am tired of 1’s, 2’s, and 3’s. I have been feeling very bored with the world and the people in it. I haven’t met any colorful people or anyone who’s been able to hold my interest for more than week in years. I’ve gone on lots of first dates – never a second.
I didn’t even look for someone to date for a long time because I was really broken. I didn’t want to burden anyone with my open wounds so I didn’t look for anyone to share it with. I didn’t think it would be fair. Now, I spent lots of time working on myself, getting to know myself, and healing myself. I felt like I done all this work to make myself as awesome as I can be and I want to share it with someone but there’s no one awesome for me to share it with.
I want an intellectual equal but I have yet to meet anyone who is. I have met people who have more education than me and talk in big words almost as big as their ego. It doesn’t impress me. I have never met anyone as smart as me though. I met lots of people who talk big about love and compassion but don’t live it. I meet lots of people who dress like me and pretend to be like me but they aren’t. I have never meet another anarcho-pacifist straightedge peace punk. They aren’t at shows. They aren’t at the radical feminist bookstores. I have no idea where to look.
I suppose that’s why I started this journal to try to connect with like-minded people. I wish someone was looking for me as much as I am looking for them. I had a hit the other day by someone who googled “transgender” + “anarchist” + “vegetarian” and I was really disappointed that they didn’t say hello. I don’t write just to be heard – I want to hear you too.
I am a very sensitive, kind, and loving creature. I have a real big heart. I don’t play games and I say it how I see it. Most people can’t handle it. I have a hard time relating to people because I really do care and most people don’t. It’s almost a curse to be a 5 in a land of 3’s. My life would be a lot easier if I didn’t care, was stupid, and mean. I’d have lots of people to date just like me if I liked team sports, group think, eating flesh, and had imaginary friends. But, that isn’t me.
I am not a cookie cutter person from a cookie cutter system. I am a beautiful lotus flower that risen from the murkiest of muddy waters. Some people can’t see beyond the mohawk, piercings, and tattoos. The punk t-shirts, heavy boots, and work pants. I like dressing loud and being punk because punk is the only subculture to have stopped a war. My dress is my armor to the world – because my heart is really on my sleeve. I don’t put up a front – I am always me.
I want wonderful and amazing people to be friends with and play with. I have a handful scattered around the world but I could always use more. Good people are really rare. I wish I could find someone good to give my heart to.
On Being Straightedge
I never really took on the straightedge identity until recently. I was talking to another one of my straightedge friends and he mentioned there’s a difference between being straightedge and drug-free. It’s like the difference of being “queer” and “gay” both mean the same thing but they are different.
I first ran into the term straightedge when I was 19 and a freshman in college. I was in the community kitchen at the dorms and some kid who was a friend of a friend was talking to me. “Do you smoke?” “No.” “Do you drink?” “No.” “Do you do drugs?” “No.” “You’re straightedge.” “I am what?” I was so confused of having a label placed upon me for a behavior I’ve done. “Straightedge means you don’t drink, don’t smoke, don’t do drugs.” “Oh.”
Being the nerdy, anime gamer kid I was back then – I went home and googled straightedge to find out what exactly this thing was. I found out about Minor Threat and how they started the movement in the 80’s. I found out about hardliners – who beat people up for not being straightedge. It was sounding like the most ridiculous thing I ever heard of. I mean, I liked the idea of not drinking, not doing drugs, and not smoking but it was starting to sound like a cult. I was intrigued yet put off at the same time. I didn’t like the sound of getting in fights just because of a different point of view.
Straightedge is one of those things that means different things to different people. The best way for me to understand straightedge is like my vegetarianism – a strong dislike for animal goods/products – instead of animal products it’s alcohol and drugs. I rarely go out with people who will eat meat in my presence because it just really upsets me. I go to bars sometimes – not that often – because drunkeness upsets me.
I don’t like drugs at all. Never have done them and never will. I think the mind is one of the most valuable things a person has and I would never want to mess with mine. Not just that, but the trafficking involved is really messed up.
I only been drunk once and I used to rarely smoke cigarettes. They helped me with my stress but I was ignoring the real cost. Tobacco companies are horrible. I just read an article about the child labor that goes into tobacco. It’s really messed up. I don’t want to be supporting that. Plus, alcohol is also made by some big corporation that only cares about profit. Every time we buy something, we are voting with our dollar. At what cost is your pleasure being derived from?
I guess that is something people don’t like to think about. The true cost of things. I felt it was selfish to be self destructive to myself because there are lots of people out there who love and care about me. I mean, everything isn’t kittens and rainbows, I have days where I’d rather not exist or deal with anything but some days are just so awesome that they make the bad times worth trucking through.
Straightedge to me means being responsible for yourself and your actions and also being considerate about those who care for you. It’s about healthy living and not supporting evil corporations. It’s about not needing drugs to be your true self – since you can be yourself without the use of substance. It’s about being yourself and being free from addiction.
