Gender Binary, Sexism, and Sexuality.

The gender binary is a form of oppression and hierarchy. Male and female stereotypes and roles put so much stress on our kind. Things like “Boys don’t cry” or if a girl sleeps around she’s a slut and if it was a man, he’s a stud. Girls are supposed to wear dresses and boys are supposed to wear pants. What madman came up with the idea of dividing humanity along the lines of what’s in one’s pants? What I want is equality which isn’t the same thing as sameness. Men and women will always be different but we can also be equal. I am in the middle of reading a book Sexism in America: Alive, Well, and Ruining Our Future and there is so much overlooked. Just even classic television shows like “Father Knows Best” encourages the model that he male knows best and the woman is inferior. Even recently with the scandalous performance of Adam Lambert with the double standard that it’s okay for some girl on girl action on prime time Television and not guy on guy. Girls can be bicurious but men have to be straight and narrow. We need this to stop this sort of thinking.

I was talking with a friend last night how the label “bisexual” enforces the idea that there are only two sexes. Then again, if the person is only attracted to cis-males and cis-females this works but that is often not the case. It doesn’t really cover all aspects of human sexuality. Then again, why do we need to worry about labels? You can like what you like and just be yourself.

However, in this imperfect world labels are helpful for sorting things and giving meaning. They have their use. I usually identify as “queer” since it is all encompassing. I am against gay and lesbian assimilation like the Steford Gays who want to be the cookie cutter American family with 2.5 kids. I know some people are afraid of the word “queer” due to it’s past and it isn’t PC. That’s the thing though, being gay doesn’t have to be PC – we aren’t going for heteronormalitivity. I am more worried about the issues of homeless youth LGBT (gays make up 10% of the population but 40% of the homeless) than having gay marriage. Gay marriage would be nice for those who want it but it’s mostly a concern of the white middle class. People aren’t worrying about gay marriage if they can’t get their medicine. Universal health care should be more of a queer issue than gay marriage because we wouldn’t need partners benefits if everyone had health care.

Again, equality isn’t the same as sameness. I am proud to be queer and different then 90% of the people. I used to joke with my friends that if 90% of the population was queer and only 10% straight – we wouldn’t have the overpopulation problem. But we do because those breeders want to keep on breeding when there are so many children in need of a good home already.